Original poem reprinted online here: "Eviction Notice" by Dan Gerber
Originally read: February 8, 2013
More information about the Poet: Dan Gerber
Past me write down for the opening two lines that they have a, "sing-songy quality and humorous." So inspecting the first two lines again, "The spider from the rug / suddenly wondered where he was" not only has a sing-songy and humorous quality, but also a fable like quality. In the first two lines we have a character who, through the description, has a heroic journey feel to him (ala Aeneas).
Not that the poem goes for the Aeneid allusion, more of a demonstration of character which is undercut in the next line, "if spiders ever do;" which brings the focus back onto the speaker interpreting the thoughts and actions which is further explored in the the following three lines, "the world went white, / then dark, / then bright/" not how the focus is adjective visual imagery -- simple devices that bring the reader into the poem and then suddenly out with the next line.
"when I shook him out of the tissue / I used to scoop him out of play." The focus i sback on the speaker an note how the speaker shows his hand in sorts by writing the phrase "out of play." Th speaker is constructing the subject to his own device.
Past me wrote that the phrase, "unforgiving light" is cliche -- actually the whole description of the outside is a bit cliche and sing songy "play" "day." However the poem turns in the last couplet (which also has a sing songy rhyme to it. "a wild-and-woolly minute ago, / he was king of the dazzling Navajo."
Past me wrote this down for the last two lines, perhaps couplet, "The poem sort of comes together in the last two lines since the description works together 'Navajo' clothing rugs and the metaphor 'Navajo' (out of a land -- diaspora)."
And, yes I could see the poem going in this direction, but that's if I look to deeply. However, current me could also see this as a sing-songy poem about spiders that are viewed in a non-visceral light.
Past me wrote this last comment, "The tone fits with ta sense of cynicism. The beginning is a risk, the end is good, but the middle -- too much play? Cliche bring me out of it" And rereading the poem, I feel the middle is more important that the beginning in end in structuring how to read the poem. Too cliche, not so serious. Cliche with a mysterious element of why, a little serious.